can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
