Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
