Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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