I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
