We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
