Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
