You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
