physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
