Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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