is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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