the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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