I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
