i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
