He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize