I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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