Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
NoShamevember. You game?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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