Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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