Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
