Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
