Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
bring money and cleavage
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
