I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
