Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize