Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
This house was built for laser tag.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
