I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
