What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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