Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
