I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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