I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
