Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
