i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
