Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
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