I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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