I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
