i just had sex bonerless
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
