I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
