they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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