you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
it's like iHOP with fire
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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