If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
