I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
