I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just pee around me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
