she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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