If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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