Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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