i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize