I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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