She's JV to your varsity
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
