Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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