hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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