There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
