i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
