I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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