So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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