I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
