so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He kissed a someone with a penis
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
