how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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