Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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