if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize