I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm at about main and main street
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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