Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
