what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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