none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
