tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
