do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well I just put wine in my tea
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
