Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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