I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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