Porn is love you can see.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
