Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
